LOVE & HAPPINESS
Every Queen wants to be in love and live happily ever after, we weren't made to be alone. However, relationships take a lot of work. There are so many failed relationships, and it's sad to know that even the best couples you were rooting for didn't last. So like you, I am also trying to find the secret formula for an everlasting relationship. Let it be known, I'm not a relationship expert, but I've had my fair share of experiences. I've had short and long-term relationships, I've been married and divorced twice and married again in 2020 to a wonderful man. I'd be lying if I said my relationships were perfect. I've been in abusive relationships with ex-boyfriends where I was beaten, stalked, attacked, and had a shotgun and a knife pulled on me.
With two failed marriages, I've been lied to and cheated on, and then some, and with several, I'm so sorry, please don't leave me, and failed couples therapy; I completely checked out of the relationships and lived like I was a single woman. My ex-husband, who was my high school sweetheart, lived a double life and had a whole baby that I had no clue about. I didn't know until after we were married. One day I was washing clothes and found a baby diaper receipt in his pants. After 3 years of marriage, I left him because of his lies, his secret drug habit, and his erratic behavior. I found him sitting in the dark with a gun in his lap. Not to mention pretending to go to work when he hadn't been working for a month. Unbeknownst to me, my second husband was a sex attic and a serial cheater. He ultimately lost his job due to sexual harassment. We were together for almost 20 years, so surely it was a devastating loss to me.
I was like God, why me? I worked, I cooked, I cleaned, and I did everything that was required of me as a wife. There were no complaints in the bedroom. I'm not a bad-looking person, I take care of myself, and I'm loving, caring, and thoughtful. Most importantly, I put God first. I'm a child of God and a wonderful mother. I questioned and blamed myself and doubted who I was as a person. Am I perfect, no, but tried to be. I felt like in both marriages, I gave it my all until I had nothing more to give. My love tank was empty, so I filed for divorce, and I couldn't wait for it to be final. I just wanted out! I have to admit, not all of my relationships were bad. I've had some great, long-term relationships, but had to end them due to lack of consistency. It went both ways, proposals I declined, and I was waiting for proposals that never came.
After a few years of being with someone, naturally, you want to take it to the next level. Even though I've ended relationships because of that, sometimes it made me want to throw my hands up and say; I can't do this marriage thing again but I prayed and said to God even though they weren't made for me, I always knew I was made for it.
Besides, I'm in God's favor and I believe in the union of marriage and what it stands for. However, God gives me the wisdom to know when it's time to walk away. He doesn't want us to be unhappy nor does he want us to be in harm's way.
In my pursuit of love and happiness, I've learned that not everyone that you fall in love with will mistreat you, lie or cheat on you. I've learned that even the sweetest guy is not perfect and neither am I. I've learned that no matter what, first and foremost, put God first, love yourself, communicate effectively, be mindful, and live a balanced and honest life. I've learned that being alone is ok and having a partner does not complete me but with one, it makes life just a little bit sweeter.
Do you believe that your perfect person exists? In this case, a partner who will always be there for you, who will always be supportive of you and do everything you say, who will never hurt you, and who will never leave you. In a perfect world, life is grand, and everyone is worthy of love! It's not perfect, and it's not always butterflies and roses.
However, if you can overcome your doubt of being alone and overcome your fear of giving love another try, and learn how to step out of your comfort zone and try something new, you'll learn to connect with the hope of having a partner sent just for you. Love and spend some time with yourself, be willing to change; people, places, and things and invite the newness in.
Keep negative thoughts at bay, and when you hear the whispers in your head that tell you that you are unlovable and will end up alone, acknowledge that those whispers are not of God, and then say, I Am A Queen! I am worthy of love! Please know that. Hugs and Love!
Written By: Theresa Woods
Love, Lust & Trust
Sexual frustration, temptation, finances, and mid-life crises, in my opinion, are the root of all evil in relationships. However, God-fearing relationships with a strong bond may be luckier than one without. Having a strong bond makes it easier for couples to trust God, and each other enough to talk openly about their desires, needs, and disappointments; before sabotaging the relationship.
While having conversations with couples, they've shared that practicing awareness helps them communicate freely if disagreements and thoughts of infidelity arise. It also helps to build a stronger relationship. Well, kudos to them, but what about couples who are less bonded and become more complacent? What about when one partner gives their all and has everything to offer in a relationship, but still gets deceived?
The bottom line is you can be Mr. Rogers or Mary Poppins and still fall by the wayside. Love, lust, and trust go hand in hand. Some people love to lust over something new. At some point in a relationship, it may happen. With unresolved underlying issues, those lustful yearnings will transform into actions, and unbeknownst to the soon-to-be brokenhearted, they have no opportunity to intervene.
With that being said, put your trust in God, man is just a man. Rebuke lust so that true love prevails! Work as a team when it comes to finances, and make date nights and sexy time a priority. Pray together to stay together. Take notes and be aware of the changes in your partner, appearance, schedule, and behavior. If it doesn't work out, know when to walk out. It's okay to believe in the union of marriage, but it's also okay to know that God wouldn't want you to be unhappy.
Written By: Theresa Woods
Let's Stay Together
When a man truly loves a woman, and a woman truly loves a man, they love deep, so deep that they can't eat nor sleep. They love hard, their love is….. Imperfect.
It’s so intense, it seems so wrong. They hate that they love each other so much, they grow apart, but they stay to figure it out. Love is stronger than pride. Obstacles are bigger than their issue. A love story? Fairy tales are for dreamers.
Lord, let them sleep, a happy ending is in need. Their body speaks, let’s make love now & so they do. You’re amazing, he says. Issue forgotten. Sex is a temporary fix, like a drug it consumes & overwhelms them. Love empowers them. They are love drunk. Always one, friends and lovers. God bless them & keep them. Amen.
Written by: Theresa Woods